An Enquiry Into Candidate Nobama

I’m not one who keeps up with American politics.  The electorate is surprisingly fickle and never seems quite able to determine the most meaningful things in their lives.  But I am quite taken by the energy surrounding a new candidate named Nobama.  What are the odds?  A candidate whose name rhymes with the current president!  I first saw his name on the bumper sticker of a car I rear-ended.  In an attempt to take responsibility for my negligence, I followed the driver for some thirty miles until we ended up at a rally where no less than 500,000 people were screaming Nobama’s name.   He seems to be sweeping the imagination of our nation, so I took the first step in becoming an informed citizen by doing some research on Facebook.  The only Nobama I found was Jack Nobama out of Dayton, Ohio, and I knew this had to be the guy.  His status update of 9/17/2011 stated, “Am tired, but I need to run.”  Running for president is exhausting I’m sure.  Luckily, learning about a candidate is not so exhausting.  Taking an in-depth look at his profile and views on the issues, I could immediately see why people were drawn to this man, so I sent him a friend request.  He accepted!

The following are the critical details of this man that are swaying my support in his direction:


His current status is “uncertain,” but I would assume any candidate for public office would have an uncertain status.  Campaigning can’t be a job, can it?


He’s forty-seven and lives with his parents.  Most people would have forgotten about their parents at this point or counted down the days when they could stick them in a nursing home.  Not Jack Nobama.  He shows how much he cares about family by staying close by their side.


His status update of 5/16/2010 states “I hope the economy gets better.  SOON!!!”  On its surface this may not seem like much, but if we look a little deeper, we see that this statement reveals the optimistic, realist, and urgent nature of Nobama’s vision.


Nobama’s educational background bolsters his credentials.  He attended Kenyon College in Gambier from 1982 – 1990.  His many years at the institution clearly demonstrate his inquisitive mind and thirst for knowledge.  It would also be nice to have a bona fide Kenyon in the White House.


Jack Nobama is a man of middle-America values.  In the past, he has admirably managed a successful farm in a community called Farmville, although he seems also to have had, at least at some point, loose connections with the mafia and their wars.  Upon deep reflection, I don’t consider this a bad quality because we need a president who can bridge the deep divides running through our country.


Let’s face it, engaging with the whacko leaders of the world takes great skill and acumen, but Nobama understands the intricacies of these interactions evidenced by his relationship status which states “It’s complicated.”  This is a refreshing acknowledgement of the difficulties of diplomacy.


It’s the 21st century and the days of gender bias should be long gone.  Nobama’s profile states very clearly he is interested in both men and woman.

I admit, I have allowed the wave of enthusiasm for candidate Nobama to sweep over me, and now, as enshrined in my Facebook status, I pledge to vote for my friend Nobama in 2012.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s